Valentine’s Day is upon us. The most romantic day of the year where couples show each other just how lucky they are to have each other and how much they appreciate the other. Many couples take advantage of all the romance and love and pop the question. Some might think it a little clichéd, but we think it is super romantic. The question is though, how exactly do you go about popping the question? If you are agonizing over how to propose, we have some helpful tips and advice just for you!
Who should propose?
The first thing to look at is who should be doing the proposing. In a traditional relationship it was the man that proposed to the woman, however, love knows no bounds and whilst this was the accepted path in the early part of the last century, we have come a very long way since then and thankfully marriage in the UK is open to all couples. Therefore, the question of who proposes has surely become irrelevant? After all, love is love and everyone should be free to shout it from the roof tops – if they so desire.
One fun fact, though. Did you know that according to tradition a woman can propose to a man on February 29th every leap year? It is believed that back in the 5th Century an Irish nun called St Bridget complained to St Patrick that ladies were waiting too long to be proposed to. St Patrick decreed that women would be allowed to propose once every four years on the leap day. How very kind!
In today’s progressive world we think that it doesn’t make a difference who proposes, as long as the question comes from the heart, the proposal can come from either person in the relationship. You know the dynamics of your relationship best. Even for traditional couples, how much of a lovely surprise would it be to flip your normal roles? So, you see, it really doesn’t matter who does the asking, as long as there is a successful outcome to this all-important question.
Far more important than who, we think, is the where. The environment of the proposal can be a make-or-break point. If one of you is relatively shy and not really into the attention that being publicly proposed to will bring, perhaps make it a super private affair, take a romantic walk in a secluded place, return to your first date venue or pop the question when enjoying a well-deserved lie-in. If you try to propose in a densely populated place making a big song and dance about it, your partner might be cringing and wanting to hide, not really the emotions we are trying to achieve. If, on the other hand your partner is an extrovert and loves the limelight, then by all means let them have their time to shine. Choose a public place like a restaurant – a classic proposal venue, or gather family and friends for the event. If you are rather shy and the thought of publicly proposing is keeping you awake at night, why not choose a way that will make you both happy? Proposal by proxy, consider sending a huge bouquet to their place of work and let the flowers and a short message do the asking for you.
The point of all of this is of course, to elicit a positive response and that is far more likely if you propose in such a way that will be well received by your intended.
How to propose
There is no set way on how to propose. Traditionally the one proposing would ask the father of the one being proposed to for permission, get a ring, find a romantic setting, get down on one knee and pop the question. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all and it is a lot of people’s dearest wish to be proposed to exactly in that way. There are though, other ways of making the experience a little more unique…
- If you are planning on proposing on Valentine’s Day and you have a meal booked, there is every chance that your loved one is thinking, or maybe hoping, that you will pop the question over dinner. Why wait that long and be that predictable? Why not propose at breakfast when they are least expecting it? Whilst it might not be that candlelit proposal, it has a lot more meaning and will be totally unexpected.
- If you want to surprise your partner, why not whisk them off for the day, you can even go so far as to clandestinely arrange with their work for the day off, take them on a secret day trip to the country and pop the question at a suitable point during the day. Think picnics, pub lunch, canal boat, castle tour, bicycle ride etc. Plan a day to remember.
- Love treasure hunt. This can be just a trail of flowers or flower petals in your home for when they arrive back from a long day at work. They follow the trail to where you are waiting to propose. You can leave clues which lead them to your location. Don’t make it so hard and long that they lose patience though, you want them eager at the end, not annoyed.
- Put it in print! If you are a newspaper reader, why not have your proposal printed in your favourite read? You can then use that any way you want. Sit next to your partner and suddenly exclaim “wow, have you seen this article?” or leave it in open view with your proposal circled. Your partner then gets to see your proposal in print! Be prepared to back it up in words though.
- How about a nice long build up with 14 days of Valentines? Give your loved one a gift or love token every day starting the first of February. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, but a token that expresses your love for that person. The gift could be a subtle clue to what is coming up, then on the 14th, your loved one will clearly be expecting another gift of some type and you give them the greatest gift of all – you for the rest of their lives.
- If you want to do the public dinner date proposal, then work with the restaurant ahead of time. Do bear in mind that you might not be the only one looking to propose. It would be so much more special, if you could have the restaurant deck the table in flower petals, perhaps play that special song or even bring in some musicians to play when you pop the question. How about a special “marry me” desert? Getting the restaurant staff involved will help make the proposal that much more special.
However you propose, whenever you propose and wherever you propose, make sure that the person you propose to feels like they are the only person in the world and hopefully, at the end of it, we will all be looking to buy a new hat!
